Php baby class

After months of insightful observation and analysis, I’ve come up with this php baby simulator.

Code block

Class Baby extends Mom_and_Dad {
 
public $status
 
//[..]
 
  function check_status() {
 
    if( $this->status ==  "asleep") parent::enjoy_your_life_or_what_is_left()
 
    else $everything = true;
 
    if($everything) $this->cry();
 
  }
 
  function cry() {
 
    $index = rand(1,4);
 
    $volume = array('low', 'loud','louder','uber loud', "warn the sismologists it’s not an earthquake" )
 
    echo $volume[$index];
 
  }
 
}

//Beware the loop

while($parents->still_love_each_other_enough()) {

$newborn = new Baby;

}

(maybe I should refactor it using cakephp or at least the MVC pattern: I’d really love to have a BabiesController)

Be careful: due to inherent hardware limitations, the constructor of the Baby class takes a lot to complete (more or less, 9 months). Once instantiated, the new baby object takes a lot of resources (parent’s hardware is used a lot). Oh, and it sucks, literally.

(no, it’s not my baby in the cover image)